Yesterday, Sebastian and I went to Mercyhurst Northeast to check out their campus and programs. I loved it! Sebastian loved it! I am excited to be going to college again! For a while I have been kinda blah, because of my whole birth certificate/identify situation (don't worry, it's STILL not straightened out) but I have got my umph back! The sad part is (which I am actually REALLY upset about) is that if my birth certificate doesn't come in within the next couple weeks, (May 1st to be exact), I will not even be able to go to college in the Fall. :'( I doubt it will come before then because the other day (after 8 weeks of waiting was up) my grandma called Vital Statistics and they said because of them moving offices and what not that we have to wait 12 WEEKS, not just 8! This is getting so ridiculous! At first I was able to handle it, but now it is severely putting my life on hold and I am reaching my breaking point. I can't get a job, I can't drive, I can't even get a fishing license for crying out loud!!! I keep asking myself these questions: Why is this happening for me like this? Is this God's purpose? How long am I supposed to keep waiting? If this is what God has wanted, what is his big idea here? Is this supposed to teach me patience? (I thought I have BEEN pretty patient!) Why couldn't this have been fixed when I was younger? Why wasn't this situation on the top of my parents priority list if they "didn't really want me to find out"? Why couldn't I have just gone by Atwell? Why didn't they get a new lawyer if they knew their lawyer wasn't really doing anything?
I wish I knew the answers. I wish this nightmare would just be over so I can move on with my life. People keep telling me how lucky my parents are to have such an understanding child like me. They keep saying how wonderful and forgiving I am. Although I agree that I have tried to be those things, it is really hard not to blame them for not taking care of it BEFORE I was 18. Heck, before I was 10 or 5! Like I said, I am reaching my breaking point and getting frustrated just thinking about it all the time. I love my parents, I do, but why did this have to happen like this? Why?
-Bri
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